Oh, yeah? Well, my life is exciting, too, you know.
26 months...pish-shaw!...Here's my past 26 HOURS for ya'...


• Times awoken by dog whining: 1
• Times awoken by child whining: 3
• Times I whined: 12


• US$ spent on groceries: $89
• US$ spent on Juicy Juice: $2.69
• Amount of Juicy Juice drunk before getting home: 1 bottle


• Times juice was offered: 5
• Times juice was requested: 10
• Wet diaper changes: 4
• Poopy diaper changes: 1


• Times cake was requested: 107•
• Times cake was denied: 107
• Temper tantrums caused by cake denial: 1 - but it was REALLY BIG
• Times child sent to room to cry: 1
• Times child was told to go away, I don't want to hear it: 2
• New gray hairs: 10


• Baths taken by child: 1
• Baths taken (if initially) by child under protest: 1
• Times cake was used as a bribe to get the kid OUT of the bathtub: 1
• Amount of cake eaten by child: all of his, some of mine, some of Dad's
• Place cake was eaten by child: inside a cardboard box*


• Times "Richard Scarry's Best ABC Video Ever" was viewed: 5
• Times the ABC song was sung: 10
• Cartoons watched: hr. Tiny Toons Times "Leave remote control alone, Mommy. Watch cartoons. Daffy Duck" spoken: 1
• Adult shows watched: - in 5-minute increments
• Books read: 2 - 101 Dalmatians, RealSound Big Truck Book


• Children's audio tapes heard in the car: 2
• Adult audio tapes heard in the car: 1/20


• Times dog chased by child: 32
• Times child told to leave dog alone: 15
• Times child told that if he DOESN'T leave the dog alone, he's going upstairs...to BED: 1
• Times child dragged upstairs (to bed) because he wouldn't leave the dog alone: 1


• Kisses given to Mother willingly: 0
• Kisses given as bribe to watch ABC video again: 2
• Kisses given as bribe to get juice: 1
• Kisses stolen by Mother: 45


• Mom's willingness to do all of this full-time:
100%


* - Please note that the aforementioned cardboard box was OPEN, was entered willingly and with great enthusiasm by child avoiding the dog who would've loved to have some of that cake, and was not some sort of Hollywood designed punishment vehicle ("that'll be two weeks in The Box")...As I mentioned, it was open-topped, and therefore a time machine, not a transmorgrifier (upside down box).

World Trip